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What if, instead, more people just accepted that condomsdental damsand the like were going to be part of their sex lives until, and unless, they decided to have children? So I said nothing. And while Flex now offers baskets of condoms and lubricant, Wallace says that many of the club's patrons still don't use them. Seele, founder and C. This isn't just a problem for women who are involved with men on the down low. That's not what being a real black man is about.

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I'm vain. Zooming in on the map is entertaining enough: The first mainstream media account of the down-low as closeted homosexuality was reported in the Los Angeles Times on February 7, That is particularly true since many of them have multiple female as well as male partners.

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Masculinity is a surprisingly effective defense, because until recently the only popular representations of black gay men were what William calls ''drag queens or sissies.